Tip #6

Lighten up. If your child refuses to do something, try turning it into a game. "Humor and games are two great tools that parents sometimes forget about in the heat of the moment," says Zebooker. When her own son, now 13, was in preschool, she used to persuade him to put his shoes on in the morning by playing shoe store. "I would say, 'Welcome to Miss Mommy's Shoe Store, I've got the perfect pair for you to try on today,' and I'd speak in a silly accent and he loved it." (I've had luck using this strategy with Sophie, who used to clamp her mouth shut whenever I tried to brush her teeth. Now we play the "Let's Guess What You Ate Today" game -- and she willingly opens up so I can search her molars for cereal, strawberries, or mac and cheese.)

Want a boy to “hit” the toilet water and not miss, try floating a Cheerio in the water - what fun!  Want the kids to clean up their messy room? “Let’s pretend that all the toys want to be together - where should be put them?”  As a parent we should always maintain a sense of humor - it not only helps ease a sticky situation but can help build that close parent bond.  Remaining positive through laughter and games will give you one up to convince your youngster to do what you want them to do.

Who does like smiling and laughing a something funny and who does like play games.  Try these tools and you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish!

Tip # 5 Praise is KEY!

 

Cooperation

Walk into almost any preschool class in the country, and you'll see
children sitting quietly in circles, forming orderly lines, raising their hands to
speak, passing out napkins and snacks.
The question is: How do teachers do it? How do they get a dozen or more
children under 4 to cooperate, willingly and happily?
While there's no secret formula, most say:
Praise is key - Try to catch them being good. Kids repeat behaviors that get
attention.  “I love the way…” “Look what a great job you did!”
Try rewards such as stickers, pennies, an ice cream treat at the end
of a week doing something you want them to accomplish.  
Look for ways to use praise to positively reinforce the behaviors
you want children to keep; ignore those behaviors you want extinguished.

 

Tip # 4

4. Let them solve simple problems. If you see your child trying to assemble a toy or get a book from a shelf that she can reach if she stands on her step stool, pause before racing over to help. "Provided that they are safe, those moments when you don't rush in, when you give children a moment to solve things for themselves, those are the character-building moments," says Zebooker. "It's natural to want to make everything perfect, but if we do, we cheat kids of the chance to experience success."

Think about all the thinking and actions that go into your child’s problem solving.  They decide what they need or want; find a way, or more than one way, to solve the problem and then enable themselves to attain the desired outcome.  This is the beginning of a lifelong mind set for problem solving! When they enter the school systems, they will need to solve many problems: socially, academically, physically, etc.

Allowing your child to begin to use independence until they ask for help will foster them to want to be more independent.  Isn’t it great to think that someday, when your youngster is ready for college or their first apartment, they will be ready to tackle these big leaps because you allowed the small leaps?

We’re on a roll! Tip #3

We’re on a roll!  Tip #3

 

3. Don't redo what they've done. If your child makes her bed, resist the urge to smooth
the blankets. If she dresses herself in stripes and polka dots, compliment her
"eclectic" style. Unless absolutely necessary, don't fix what your child accomplishes,
says Kathy Buss, director of the Weekday Nursery School, in Morrisville, Pennsylvania.
She will notice and it may discourage her.

When children begin to show their independence, they do what they think is the perfect job!  
Continue to encourage this independence with praise and other easy “jobs” so they
can gain confidence.  Think about it - if you are trying to impress your boss and all you
get is being told to redo it, wouldn’t that make you feel like a failure?  
Or you might just want to give up! We don’t want our kids to give up; let them push forward.
The ultimate goal of any parent is to raise a child who will become self sufficient and
independent as an adult.  

Promoting Independence

Promoting Independence

While 3- and 4-year-olds still need plenty of parental help, preschool experts agree that kids are typically able to do more than many of us think. Here's how you can encourage them:

1. Expect more. Most people have a way of living up (or down) to expectations -- preschoolers included. "At school we expect the kids to pour their own water at snack, to throw away their plates, to hang up their jackets -- and they do," says Jennifer Zebooker, a teacher at the 92nd Street Y Nursery School, in New York City. "But then they'll walk out of the classroom and the thumb goes in the mouth and they climb into strollers." Raise the bar and your child will probably stretch to meet it.

In my own experience in the classroom, the more I expected of my first grade students, the more they surprised me by asking deeper questions in science or explaining in depth how they arrived at the answer to a math problem.  Using terms like, “You can do this” or “Let’s begin together and then I want you to finish” or “Go ahead and try first and then ask for help if you need it.” are great ways to encourage a child to become independence.

Education Coordinator's Corner Tip #2

TIP #2

2. Resist doing for her what she can do herself. While it may be quicker and easier to do it yourself, it won't help to make your child more self-sufficient. Quick hint: Appeal to her sense of pride, suggests Donna Jones, a preschool teacher at Southern Oregon University's Schneider Children's Center in Ashland, Oregon. "Whenever I'm trying to get kids to dress, put jackets on, sit on chairs during meals and so on, I'll ask them: 'Do you want me to help you or can you do it yourself?' Those words are like magic," promises Jones. "The kids always want to do it for themselves."

Children are very proud of what they accomplish so praise them often when they do.  They will reward you by wanting to do more themselves. This gives you a little more time for other things that you want to do!  By giving a child choices, they will choose one or the other most of the time instead of “mommy - you do it”. Lay out two different sets of clothing in the morning and tell them they can choose one or the other to wear - you can even get creative and say to them “surprise me!”  Even if they mix things up and wear pink socks on one foot and green on the other - so what! They dressed themselves without your help!

Until Next Week - Maria

Education Coordinator's Corner

Just for you:  

Hello - My name is Maria Duquette and I am the Education Coordinator at Joyful Noise, Inc.  I thought I would share some tips about parenting that you might find helpful. Please feel free to send me feedback through this blog so that a healthy discussion can take place.

My intention is to give some tips about once a week and I would love to hear from any of you if you have tried these tactics, if they have worked or didn’t work!

Note:  These were taken from a site called Parents.

TIP # 1

Promoting Independence

While 3- and 4-year-olds still need plenty of parental help, preschool experts agree that kids are typically able to do more than many of us think. Here's how you can encourage them:

1. Expect more. Most people have a way of living up (or down) to expectations -- preschoolers included. "At school we expect the kids to pour their own water at snack, to throw away their plates, to hang up their jackets -- and they do," says Jennifer Zebooker, a teacher at the 92nd Street Y Nursery School, in New York City. "But then they'll walk out of the classroom and the thumb goes in the mouth and they climb into strollers." Raise the bar and your child will probably stretch to meet it.

In my own experience in the classroom, the more I expected of my first grade students, the more they surprised me by asking deeper questions in science or explaining in depth how they arrived at the answer to a math problem.  Using terms like, “You can do this” or “Let’s begin together and then I want you to finish” or “Go ahead and try first and then ask for help if you need it.” are great ways to encourage a child to become independence.